Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Day After...

Monday evening after office hour, I met with the numero uno of HR. I was hoping for good news for this but it was a kind of a mixed feeling. I was told that I am being promoted to the higher grade and this I thank Allah very much. However, I am not yet promoted to the grade of the post which I am covering now because of few issues. One, I am still at two grade lower of the post and two, the management has some issues that require me to settle first. What surprised me is the fact that they say they want me to fill this position in about a year if everything goes well. Because he was not being specific, I was not exactly sure what one year means but I guess it could also mean forever. I was also lectured about quality of leadership that one must posses to get to the position and at this moment I still have got more to learn. I was quite happy that the issues raised were not because of my technical competencies or integrity but rather perception of some senior management of how I conduct things in the office. I think I know what he meant and I also feel that I know why this accusation was being thrown off to me. The only thing which I feel a bit unfair was that my clarification was not sought first and whomever made the comments clearly a kind of unjust person because they also fail to admit that they also made error in judgement. It's always easy to critices ones action behind him or her because you do not have to answer for your own mistakes.

When I officially told the numero uno that actually I dont want that post, I could see that he was so surprised and a bit agitated. At least for me, I have officially declared that the post can be given to anyone in the company without me being considered. I could see the change on his face when I declared that I would like to be transferred out even with no promotion but he quipped that there is probably no other place in the company that I can go to. Yeah, like I beleive him. For some people, they may have thought that I am desperate and even overzealous to get the position immediately and actually I have proved them it is not so. Not after almost eight months actually doing the job and have to sacrifice a lot along the way. And along the way through the discussion, I could feel that there is a lot of things and contributions and also difficulties which I have to endure that did not get a proper understanding from them. Clearly, they have missed all the sufferings and perseverance that I have to endure in order to get the office in order post December 14th 2007. For this, I feel slighted because for some people, thier ego is more important than other's sincerity and efforts. Maybe, its the fault of myself or maybe, the credit has gone to the wrong person.

After the meeting I consulted the division Numero Uno and asked whether I can be transferred to other department in the division since I feel that I do not have the quality and the energy require to carry out the responsibility anymore after the misperception. The response was a solid no and actually it kinda jive with what the HR boss was saying that I am to continue covering the the post for the best of the company.

After a sleepless night, I came to a conclusion that what has been decided for me is something that I have to follow since I am just an employee. I see no point arguing with the management since the problem that I have is not of their main priority anyway. Hopefully, this perception will vanish shortly but whatever it is, it's all what Allah has decided for me is the best. On the other hand, there are also few good things about this whole shenanigan since with the one-grade promotion and covering allowance, quite substantial increase in salary. Alhamdullilah.

To the lesser extend, I learn one thing about life which has strucked me many times but I keep forgetting or just does not jive with my style of managing. Bosses are always right and most of them have ultra-high ego. As long as you are working under someone, you are not exactly free to criticise unless you are willing to pay a high price...for me, I work because I need to feed my family..but in doing so, I will be as transparent and as sincere as possible even it means surfacing the unfairness of others..that, insha'allah will not go away from me...

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