Waiting for Change...

It is a sad fact that regardless of talent, second place only means you are first in a long line of losers.

Off-late I was not really into blogging due to many reasons. The biggest one is probably I have been spending too much time at home adjusting the HKB2 RC heli which to me was unexpectedly difficult machine to tune unlike the four channel Lama or Robbins. Nonetheless, being an engineer, solving technical problem like this is something that I enjoy the most and don't mind spending countless hours to get it fly smoothly again. Based on my observation and reading from several heli forums in the net, I somehow managed to understand the mechanic of the tail-rotor heli quite substantially relating to the HKB2. In the process of adjusting, repair and tuning of this micro heli machine, I acquired several special tools for this purpose such the the pitch-gauge device, ball-link plier, digital caliper, hex-driver and also assortment of allen drivers. I dare not count how much money I have spent on these tools and also on the spare-parts of the HKB2 and the 4-channel helis but I think I managed to cap it within a reasonable budget. If I were to follow my desire, I would go ahead and get the 6-channel T-Rex or the Nitro-powered Sceadu Hirobi which are more stable, bigger and of course expensive machines. Come to think about it, when the hell is the company is going to pay our annual bonuses ?!

I think another reason why I am a bit 'lazy' to write of late is probably because the uncertainty on my immediate future with the promotion of my boss recently. There were a lot of talks and rumours circulating around about the possible successor to him. As much as I would like to ignore these speculations, I am a 'bit' disturbed by them because of quite a few congratulatory greetings I received which to me are mere speculations and nothing more. I know very well that the management will have problem to select me because of my age and also my grade of which at the moment is two grade below the vacant position. In my opinion, this company is still plague by the prevailing culture of age and seniority. The idea of a double promotion is still essentially a big taboo and not well received by many. I have also kind of indicated my wish to move on laterally to other department to the power that be having had almost 20 years experience in the same field. The feedback I received was a bit disappointing with mix of a big No and sugar coated with unclear promise. Having said that, I am not the kind of person who has an excellent inter-personal communication skill that can advertise my achievement or ability to contribute to the company's success. To me, the prove of the pudding is in the tasting and I sincerely believe that I have contributed quite substantially to the company over the years, oblivious to many maybe. But then again, management always believe that your past record is not what there are looking for but rather the contribution that can be made in the future, with minimum impact to the morale of majority. Whatever it is, at the moment I am already accepting the fact that a new boss will come sooner that we expect. I also strongly beleive that I am not easily satisfied with whatever achievement thus far to be mired in complacency. What is even more important is that I am already gearing myself towards working with him or her. As long as I am an employee to this company, I am just a normal worker and have to abide to the company's rule and decision. Other alternative is to leave the company for good and frankly speaking, I could have left the company long time ago with at least 3-4 outside offers that came along the way if I really want to. But maybe I just don't have enough courage to do it for my believe that I have a good future within this company. To me, I don't have anything to prove anymore for now to the management about my ability to contribute. I think they know it judging from the past performance. But then again, what is past is prologue. The ball is at their feet now and they can decide the best for the company...